new year

brings up old problems, i think. i really hate sleeping alone. im to busy to really keep up with this right now, but i'll try. for now i enjoy just putting down the statements that haunt me while i try to sleep. 

sincerely yours,

mur

Friend Zones

I feel as if I might be in a friend zone. and it sucks for sure, why it happens this way i'll never know. 

sincerely yours,

mur 

leaving

going up to salt spring to see my family up there. i think it will be fun to not only travel along, but to get to see my family too, i dont get to see them enough. 

pictures im sure will come soon after the trip. 

sincerely yours, 

mur

superheros II

spiderman was no good, i want superman to call me back, please. 

sincerely yours,

mur

super heros

so apparently im attracted to boys who still want to be super heros. ive come to a cross roads of the super man or spider man. clark kent or peter parker, and funnily enough both of the guys act just like their appropriated characters, whom they love. 

very strange how life works, these parallels between reality and fiction. 

why has my life become an episode of greys anatomy even more then a comic book. you know where meredith has to choose between derek and fin, so true. 

we will see what saturday brings, maybe peter parker will be the right choice, however super man just keeps coming back, or at least acts like he is, we will see if he has any follow through or if he will just keep flying away. 

sincerely yours,

mur 

thinking

thinking i should take up a new hobby. biking riding as been good thus far, but i need another distraction for after finals. the travel to canada should do me some good. i really want to go visit megan but im not sure when I can do it. lame. 

R still hasn't called, im assuming he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, which is also pretty lame. apparently im on the path to self destruction. sometimes i wish life were a bit easier, i understand that yes life is going to be hard and all but really you would think i would get some kind of a break here. its been nothing but bad for the past two weeks. 

im just already done with everything, this whole summer has kinda blown for the most part, just been a mountain of stress all the time.

i cant wait for the fall, i want it to bring all things new and old back. i miss all my friends that i havent seen all summer. 

i also didnt get a lot accomplished that i wanted to this summer, mostly because of all these distractions. i really need to find a way to focus but i havent found that place yet. 

most of the time i just feel like laying in bed all day, or going for a bike ride, and thats really it. 

im also really tired of being broke, i hope P gets a job soon, this is getting so crazy. everytime i have money there is yet another bill to pay. i hate it. 

ive also felt like ive let friendships slip away. 

i feel very alone most of the time. im pretty sure they are all my fault. i also feel as if most of my problems are superficial and dont matter, but if the way i feel is from my feelings then jesus i need to deal with something, or at least have someone to listen to them and tell me how to feel better. 

all for now i guess. 

sincerely yours,

mur

seriously

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden
That's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things
Will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?