alright

normally i dont let things get to me. however i have major issues with feeling left out abandoned etc. i'd like to think im a good friend, always there for people and the like. however this morning this fairly small incident put me over the edge i wasnt even aware i was so close to. im awake fairly early as usual, when audra gets up and i ask why she is up so early. she says shes going to breakfast with chelsea, alright thats fine its just her and chelsea not a big deal. then steph comes over and she is going as well. im just sitting in the living room on my computer and audra had already asked me what i was doing for the day, when i replied nothing no invite. its ok at the time i figured it was just her and chelsea, then all three of them stand in the living room deciding were to go and leave. no invite, no good bye, no see you later. am i really that forgettable, or am i really someone that apparently no one wants to hang out with. what is wrong with me eh? i do favors for everyone and im just left yet again. i had felt like for once i had actually gotten a close group of chick friends, but i guess not. megan i miss you. alaina too. fuck, ok im not going to be passive aggressive, im going to ask them about it when they get back cuz really i have no idea why im so upset. im tired of having to invite myself, i feel as if im imposing, shouldn't i just be invited?

sincerely yours

mur

im

i am going to be in port charlotte on saturday, sunday i am going to tampa, and then monday i fly out to canada. the great white north. its going to be super chilly. 

sincerely yours,

mur

Turns out

Egypt was not going to take most of Megan's credits. therefore she is now coming back to scad. im so super happy, like almost to tears, i have my best friend back :).

sincerely yours,

mur

content

while after this week of spending time with my best friend and husband i thought i would be feeling quite lonely, im actually quite content with my situation. i feel as if i have so much ahead of me and no one to really hold me back. i mean sure i wouldnt mind the companionship i feel as if im missing all the heart break that would come with it. i'd rather just stay in this content bliss, hopefully it lasts. 

sincerely yours,

mur